This is going to be tricky to get across, so bear with me please.

I hang about on a “Social Networking” site, chatting swapping jokes, blogging and stuff. It also doubles up as a dating site for many.
You surely know of them! I know for a fact at least four members of BUKF have had accounts there.

But lets get down to business. The site was originally designed for 13 – 24 year olds, oldies like me have infested it and made it all ages (You filter out with settings people outside your age group), but my generation struggles with the concept of picking partners over the net. My generation seems to look for “permanent and The One”, whereas the younger element is happy with “For now and It’ll Do”.

There’s an incredible gulf in attitude generally speaking.

I’ve spoken to one or two younger ones that have browsed my pages in the past, they are surprised at the ‘pickiness’ of the older groups, and find our reluctance to talk casually amusing. They find the net a perfectly realistic way to get to know people, whereas my generation still clings to the “weirdos on the internet” thinking –as a whole.

Considering the number of youngsters using this mode of connecting, and the profusion of networking sites….Is it possible that this form of meeting partners is going to be the norm, rather than the exception in the future?




(Lets leave the pedophile and pervy bit out of this, we know it goes on, but that’s not what I’m driving at.)

Speaking from personal experience I think it is the way forward. Meeting partners in the "real world" is just plain old too difficult in comparison to meeting someone on line. I have used social networking and dating sites regularly in the past 2 years. Indeed my current girlfriend is a result of surfing and interacting on such sites - and I have to say (upto now) it's working well.

For me it was being able to chat freely online and find out about someone without having to worry so much about the bad stuff coming out (you know like "well I was with my ex for 5 years and he hurt me really badly" scenario?). Finding out on a first date (or first sober meeting) that someone is a devil worshipper is harder to deal with face 2 face than if it crops up online in conversation. I found that online was a great way to vet dates or even potential friends prior to actually meeting them.

Obviously you have to rely on peoples honesty and you can clearly get caught out, but I wholeheartedly advocate use of these sites, regardless of your age.

Please be advised that there is a risk that you could end up pulling Harlequin though!

I agree with everything there (cept the pulling Harlequin bit)

I've found it's easier to open up online than in real life too, maybe the youngsters are onto something.

PS That devil worshiper? I can give you their msn.

Not sure if i do Are we talking things like facebook, myspace, face party etc? or something i've not come across?

If the former, personally i'm not interested in meeting new people on these things. I kinda was years ago but not anymore. And even then it was only to talk online, not to actually meet anyone in person. Although saying that i have found someone wonderful

I'm on facebook, myspace and bukf, but i'm still not interested in meeting anyone new, in which ever way that can be taken but i dont see the problem with it. I've probably said this kind of thing before but i do believe that so long as you chat to a person long enough and are open minded enough, and not naive, you can definitely get to know someone very well before meeting them if you wish to.

And like AB said, you can talk more freely online than you might on the first few dates, so theres the possibility that you would know someone better, than you would if you met someone in a pub

What annoys me sometimes is that where i work, we see alot of people who have met over the internet, and my colleagues can be very judgemental. "oh they've only actually seen eachother on web cam ", and believe that it'll never last. I dont see why it cant though.

And with social networking becoming more popular, i bet meeting people online for relationships will become less uncommon and less taboo in the future

It's not Letmerideyousatan666@hotmail.com is it? If so - already met her!

Can I add that social networking sites are also incredibly superficial?

"Considering the number of youngsters using this mode of connecting, and the profusion of networking sites….Is it possible that this form of meeting partners is going to be the norm, rather than the exception in the future?"

Yes, but then how much can you actually 'meet' someone that way? I agree that they are also incredibly superficial, they are also extremely dangerous as far as giving people too much personal information about oneself is concerned as ID theft using details from such sites is skyrocketing.

I guess I'm an old fuddy duddy but I'd rather meet someone IRL and see the whites of their eyes

Thats why i never liked faceparty cos it seemed to me that the purpose was to only talk to the people who you liked pictures of

As for the ID theft, i took all my personal details out of my facebook page. I'm not even keen on having my name on there to be honest

Employers actually use facebook now to vet prospective employees. Such is the vast extent of usage of facebok there are now incidents of people having their profiles dragged up to see a more honest picture of them as candidates for jobs. The advice now of many recruitment consultants is that you don't put pictures of yourself p****d up in Magaluf last year with the lads on there, and you opt for more serious or tame pictures if you are looking to get a top job somewhere. Same with listing of your interests - they advice you don't put gettng tanked up with your mates on the weekend - and add things like outdoor activiites or having an interest in current affairs - sensible stuff basically.

Madness! Absolute madness!

I've heard that for blogs and other profiles that are public, but how would employers see what someone writes / puts on facebook when you have to be a friend to see it all?

You just made that up!

Please, please, please tell me you made that up!

Fraid not old bean

Facebook recruitment

I may be saying goodbye to that social networking stuff.

I'm a tad worried about some of the mentalities.

I'd done a sort of map, messing with the people I spoke a lot to, and linked to it.....


Well one bright spark wanted me to thank THEM for reading the blog/map. I'd spent 4 hours messing on paintshop pro...to entertain, and they wanted me to thank them......That can't be right can it?

I did this blog about a year ago when I joined and figured out the site. It doesn't apply to BUKF, but maybe you'll get the idea of what it can be like on the one I use.



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The Duffers Guide to Netlog (There was a beginners bit but I've lost it, I'm re-posting this because I want to)

Right! You've joined and figured out the basic controls (or enough to get you started), this blog we’ll deal with some of the features on your homepage and, actually going out there and making a name/fool of/for yourself.
You’ve probably by now realised you’ve made a horrendous mistake joining Netlog, but you are going to plod on in the same manner as someone walking up to the guillotine during the French revolution. You are well on the way to the delusional mental state known as a Netlogger.

You may find my advice becoming more vague and less helpful as we advance. That’s because everything gets vague, contradictory and decidedly “iffy” as you start to meet people (or what you think are people).

GUESTBOOK. Or as any old hand will tell you “the lie factory”.

This is where people do most talking initially, and potential friendships are made as people drop in and say hello. Just because they’ve said hello does NOT mean they want to jump in bed with you…well it might not…or it might…you’ll just have to figure that one out for yourself. You’ll get it wrong so don’t worry about it.

Note: They usually want you to go to their guestbook and chat there. There’s a sort of undeclared war about whose guestbook has the most messages on it. You’ll often see “shouts” from people asking you to sign their guestbook. You might as well, it’ll do no harm and it keeps the simple minded happy.

Remember. No-one is going to look bad on your guestbook, they are all going to be bright happy and fun, appearances can be deceptive. That guy/girl who uses all those smileys could be sticking pins in kittens on the other side of the screen, and that message that read “hello. Nice to see you again [smiley smiley smiley]…) could also mean “oh…it’s you again you boring fuck, I suppose I’d best look happy to see you.”.
So don’t be fooled. Assume nothing. A bright happy (but non-committal) reply works best.

You’ll also get these messages that declare their love and friendship forever. They are usually copy/pasted stuff typed out by some emotionally retarded 15 year old. They’ll read like “you’ve just been hit by the sexy truck. To see if you are sexy pass this on to 2,054 of your friends if you get 10 replies you are sexy” . You MUST pass these on. Failure to do so will offend the sender. Basically you can’t win with those things. I’ve stopped trying, I change the words to something sarcastic and send it on….oddly enough I don’t get many anymore.

BLOGS.

Wow! Where to start?
Well so long as you are not too overtly sexual, outright offensive or illegal, admin will probably leave you be. So dip yer bread as they say.

A browse around the place to see what people are saying on their blogs will show you that all of human life is here on Netlog. (Or what passes for human life on an “off” day). So you’ll scurry back to your pages wondering if you dare actually blog.

Be brave…blog.

You might as well. It’s one of the primary features of Netlog. It’s also going to get you into trouble; there’s nothing you can say that isn’t going to upset someone.
One fun aspect for women is if they post something, anything really, something about a corn on a toe that’s hurting will do it…..they’ll then get some foot fetishist coming on strong demanding cam sex.

(Actually…if you do have a corn on your foot my msn is footfetish_forever@msn.com )

(don’t you just know some tosser will try that addy)

As a bloke you can post anything…it’ll just be ignored usually. Failure to blog as a guy will get you nailed as “boring”. You can’t win, don’t try. Just blog to indulge yourself.

STATISTICS. Or who didn’t come and visit.

Here you can see who’s paid a call to your profile. If you are an ugly guy it’s going to be 3-4 a day. If you are female it’s going to be 3-4 hundred a day regardless of what you look like.

Oh and if you are a guy you’ll get visits by extremely pretty “bi” young ladies (usually from spain)…these are what we call “bots”. Ignore them, they are just adverts for porn sites. (though if you get one that sends a form/standard message you can have great fun telling them to fuck off).

I have no idea what the females get in the way of “bots”

An interesting aspect of your statistics is if you hang around till 12pm (night) Netlog time. Your line showing number of visitors gets brewers droop. Y’see it only records a 24 hour period, then starts anew. At 12pm it hits 0…and it looks like you’ve become a leper and social outcast. It’ll pick up again, but just for a minute will crush your ego like a bug.

ONLINE STATUS. Otherwise know as the leave me alone indicator.

What is says vs what it means.

Online = Talk to me someone, anyone! omg I’m bored..

Busy = I’m talking to someone (not you so fuck off or I’ll kill you). It’s a brave man that will crash the busy setting of a woman.

Be right back = I’m talking to someone, but they are not important, gimme a call and I’ll see if I want to chat to you.

Away = This might mean anything. Don’t even try and guess.

One the phone = This is used by women to make men feel insignificant. It’s basically saying “I’m talking to someone far more important/funnier/sexier than you. Hah!! Have a crushed ego shitface.”. Men use it to pretend they’ve someone to talk to.

Out to lunch = This could just be a comment from admin as regards their opinion of most netloggers……I know I use it to indicate my mental state. Maybe they do too.

Offline = Another might mean anything setting. You’ll often see people “offline” but posting on other peoples pages. This means they’ve forgotten to set the stealth setting correctly. Drop them a line…it’ll really annoy them as they realise they are not as smart as they think they are. Great fun.

THE CHAT FUNCTION.
Does anyone use it?…it’s crap anyway.

THE MESSAGE INBOX/OUTBOX.
This is what you’ll use to tell lies to people with, and they’ll tell lies back with. It’s private and can’t be seen by the masses, which is just as well as most messages/convos would land you in court if anyone but you and the recipient saw them.
You’ll learn an awful lot about people using this message system…Unfortunately.


SHOUTS.

Great fun. You can pass many an hour just watching them roll past. It’s a quick way of attracting attention to yourself, and it works. Which is why you’ll see people asking for cam sex on it.
Don’t shout “I’m bored”. Only boring people shout that. What I mean is if they are so desperate they have to shout “I’m bored” to gain attention, then there’s a bloody good reason people won’t talk to them, hence the shouter being “bored”. Avoid them.

FRIENDS/BLACKLISTING/FIGHTS.

I’m not staying long on this topic. Mostly because it’s the equivalent of playing on a pogo stick in a minefield. If you want to nail me as a coward for saying little go right ahead.

You’ll get complete strangers asking to be friends. You’ll accept them, you’ll exchange one or two messages that day and that’ll be the last you hear or see of them for two months. So you’ll get bored of their face on your friends’ list and delete them. This is when you’ll think you’ve started world war three. They’ll scream blue murder and demand to know why you’ve deleted them. You’ll apologise and reinstate the friendship. They’ll bugger off and you’ll never hear from them again….No I don’t understand it either, it just happens.

We all get blacklisted from time to time. It’s perfectly normal, fallouts happen. You are more likely to be blacklisted by a friend than anyone else, to be honest about it. some of my best friends are people I’ve been blacklisted by or have blacklisted in the past.
Though a complete stranger might blacklist you for unknown reasons too. It’s nothing to loose sleep over. Ok?

You’ll also bump into pages that are set to “Friends only” This usually means they are in a fight with someone and don’t want that person to see what they are saying (it can get vicious), but it’s also a bit silly as the chances are good that your friends list overlaps, and you’ll find out what’s being said anyway.

If you do see one of these “friends only” pages…don’t try and become a friend to find out what’s going on. Stick your head in a blender instead and switch it on to ‘soup’, the end results pretty much the same…. wrecked head.








That’s pretty much all you need to get going. There are more functions of course, but I’m only covering bits I think are important. Next volume we’ll cover the advanced section, where you are a fully fledged netlogger and are probably contemplating suicide.