May have a new game for you lot. Or at least if it's appeared here I can't remember it

It's "corrupt a wish"...a bit evil but what the heck!

Someone makes a wish, and the following person grants it, but makes it all go pear shaped in some way, and then makes a wish of their own.

Example:


I wish: I was the most handsome man on earth.

Following person: Granted, but all the women drop dead.

(And then he/she makes a wish)

Got it?

Here's a starting wish.

I wish I had a million pounds.

Granted, but inflation goes up by 1,000,000 %



I wish I was easys wife

Granted but KY Gell gets banned

I wish Leeds were back in the premiership

Granted but your home kit is changed to all pink



I wish I had a 14 inch plonker

Granted, but kept in proportion to the rest of your body, your now 46 foot tall

I wish Chips were good for you

granted, but you have to eat them 3 times a day to make them good for you



I wish I was a writer

Granted, The gay times are on the phone offering you a column

I wish you could grab peoples avatars.

granted, but you become an avatar



I wish Kate Winslet fancied me

Granted, but you become that pie and peas supper she has been fancying for ages

I wish I had a full head of hair

granted but hair starts grewing everywhere and you can no longer see.


i wish, i had a self cleaning house

Granted, But it cleans to well and shrinks in the wash, it is now a bungalow

I wish I had a BLT

granted, but the shop girl has forgot to add the bacon so it is all salad



i wish, this weekend was over

Granted, but its last weekend, so you still have this weekend to look forward too.

I wish I didn't need to work

granted, you win the lottery, but now everywhere you go you are followed by the press, look out theres a tunnel ahead


i wish i was taller

Granted, but at 6'9" you keep banging your head on everything

I wish I had a flash car

granted, but all the flashing gives you to bad a headache to drive



i wish, i could spell

Granted, you now can spell perfect, in spanish

I wish I had a tea boy

granted but you lose your driving license forever so it becomes an expensive ornament

i wish robbie williams wanted to marry me

granted, but after a cruel accident you can no longer see



i wish, chocolate wasn't fattering

i wouldnt need to see

granted but it takes like dog shit

i wish i was rich and successful

granted, but now you have more family coming out of the wardrobes




i wish, for a nice slice of cake with cream

granted but the only piece available belongs to a big nasty women whos gonna kill you if you touch it

i wish i had rich parents

granted but you was sent to finishing school in switzerland, so didn't meet any o0f the folks you know now



i wish, fags were not harmful

granted but instead of being harmful they made you fat

wish i could sleep well at night

granted, but now you sleep through the alarm clock



i wish for a white xmas

Your wish is granted, but due to weather condition its held indoors and you have a fantastic view of the walls

I wish a had all of the lost season 3 episodes

Granted, now your head that fat you cant move and dont even have the strength to move it


I wish there was a corner shop on our street

You wish is granted, Shame you didn't want to stop as quick.......splat

I wish i could invent something that made me loads of cash

Granted, but the giant falls in love with you and wont let you go

I wish vegtables tasted nice

Granted but you have to sing everytime you open your mouth

I wish they would make a new series of red dwarf

Granted...but you end up as a merman, no more nookie for you

I wish film came here first instead of the USA

Granted but ive just invinted lead-lined underwear

I wish there was a descent take-away in wales

Granted, but its a decent african bush take away


I wish I was 20 years younger

but would you look any younger


i wish we could live longer lives

...granted, but you cant find a delithum crystal to power it up.

I wish i didn't get sick at all

granted.. you leard esperanto, shame no-one else can speak it

i wish i could bring a bed into work

Granted, but Aeon tales the £1000+ And spends on a new kitchen and pots and pans

I wish PC's didn't become obsolete so quick

granted, but now you speak so slow no one can understand you


i wish for a lollyipop

granted, but you had just been to the dentist and can not eat anything



i wish my car could drive itself

Granted, but it hates going on the school and to the shops, so sends you postcards from all the exotic places it has driven to by itself

I wish i could fit in my wedding suit

Granted, but due to a typo your impotent

I wish I didnt have so much work to do

Granted but now your the only person left on earth


I wish I had nothing to fear

granted, but everyone fears you



I wish I catch a huge carp on sunday

Granted but its a purple one

I wish I had time to relax

granted, but now you are too tense to relax



i wish i could sing on tv

Granted, but you slip off and break your leg.

I wish all my warning has been taken away by the warning fairy

granted, but now everyone else has one and you are alone



i wish pigs could fly

Granted, but when a flock fly over your car, you cant see for the crap on the window and crash

I wish i had the power of a god

granted, but now you have to listen to everyones prays


i wish lawyers were fast workers

granted, but zorro has to work for a living



I wish I was a fairy