Hi all, I am doing a questionnaire for my A-Level Business essay on the London 2012 Olympics.

1. In Your Opinion what do you think customers are going to need for the Olympics? For example products, accommodation and so on.

Thank you

I've given this some serious thought. I think that customers are going to need:

1) A nice hot dog. One that tastes a bit rubbery, with sauce that has a distinct cardboard edge.

2) Cheap crap and tastles tat. Eg, key rings with "Paris 2012" on them (should be able to pick those up cheap!); paper weights of Bulgarian long distance runners on them (5 to collect!); action figures of Great British Archery Olympian Champions (limited edition); etc.

3) Processed cheese with funny faces and farm animals on the wrapping - and the words "London Olympics 2012" on them.

4) Bunting. Lots.

5) Miniature podiums so children can hold their own award ceremonies.

We need (continuing Oologchas list)....

6) Some sort of grinning animal toy that can have a Union Jack T-shirt on. Bear, Lion, Armadillo something like that.

7) A really naff pop song that we can all sing along too, celebrating the UK hosting the games.

8) At least one potential English athelete getting caught coming out of a Soho nightclub with a hooker, or if it's a female athelete, having an affair with Sven Goran Erickson. I'm sure the "Sun" or the "Mirror" can arange the latter.

9) Working toilets for the spectators with "flags of the world" toilet paper.

Thanks guys, keep them coming if you can

13) Transportation vehicles all made slightly smaller, less frequent and with tametables that are more of a statement of intent rather than anything to with reality, thus ensuring an Overcrowded and Overstretched Public Transport Feeling in keeping with any London Experience.

14) Face painters that look slightly dodgy to paint flags of every participating county on peoples faces so they can go round looking like a plank for a number or day's. They will then realize within a week that no matter how hard they use sand paper, they won't come off.

15) Crazy Frog ringtones of participating countries' national anthems to download at extortionate rates.

Thanks guys, keep um coming

16) Balloons filled with Helium that have indestructable skins, so when the little kiddies loose them and they get sucked into the engines of a passing 747 trying to land at Heathrow, they kill the engine and cause a air disaster.

17) The people will feel the need to see some real security at the turnstiles nowadays. So there will only be two turnstiles (entrances) to the stadium, both of which will have...

X-ray scanners
Metal detectors
A team of rent-a-cops doing body cavity searches for knives, drugs, guns and thermonuclear devices.

Since it will take approximately 30 minutes to process each person for entry to the stadium the chances of actually getting to see any events is minimal. So we need large screens outside the stadium to televise the events for waiting spectators.

18) TV spin-off:

A group of C list celebrities are locked in the Olympic Village and have to train to Olympic standard; viewers will vote for the celebrities that will actually go forward to compete in the actual games, etc. It could be called "It's the Olympics, let me in, I'm a celebrity!"