Not the one i'm talking about!

I think she means one of the crankies.

Did you want Ewan McGregor?

They are Fan Dabbi Dozy you know!!

I wanted a lazy day...but I've been called out...somebody is going to PAY!

Just fixed a leak in a bathroom. The dozy twits hadn't got the sense to turn the water off at the stop tap and the house is wrecked.

Here's a snippet of conversation after I fixed the leak...

[Me] OK. That's sorted that out, it won't happen again.

[Them] What about the mess?

[Me] Erm...I'm afraid that's nothing to do with me. You'll have to claim off your insurance.

[Them].....(Silence. Blank looks)

[Me]....You're not insured are you?

[Them] No.

[Me] Erm who's paying me now?

[Them] Can't you claim off your insurance?

[Me] What?? No! That's £*** please...in cash if you have it (I'm getting worried about now)...(they hand over the cash)

[Them] Who's going to deal with the mess?

[Me] would you like a quote from me as regards the cost?

[Them]....cost? Doesn't what we are paying you now cover it?

[Me] Not a chance.

[Them] We'll think it over.

What's to think over?? They haven't got a ceiling in the kitchen! It's all over the kitchen floor and table!
Tossers!

Don't you just love idiots!!

Now they local Authority wants to threaten the Roof over my Head because I have no Income. That's on top of the Threats from my Landlord *sniff*

3 clicks and the man slave changed the avatar, yet it took ages for Lestat to get no where with me 'cos i dont get it , i must bea bit thick

(thanks Lestat )

Having a hubby that is Admin on a fairly big forum, i keep ringing him on advice on what is acceptable to post and which isn't


what the hell happened to freedom of speech

I have an opinion and i wish to share it thank you

ffs beauty spit it out why dont you, freedom of speech is for everyone

No i've decided to refrain from posting this opionion as it could be seen as an attack on other religions (it was a discussion somewhere else )

left my mug at home, wont be able to get a decent cuppa today

Its cold!

Not had a jump for ages!

Oh I didn't realise you were an athlete

Yeah - I'm an Olympian

Long, High or Triple?

Oh long - definitely Long!

In your dreams!!

Yeah - been so long would be lucky to get beyond a hop or a skip let alone a jump!

So you're for the high jump then?

Always am me!

Awwwwwwwww........shame

work

I.ve just spent the last twenty minutes convincing the missus that she looked ok in a new suit...she had no intention of taking it back, and she clearly loved it (the suit), but she had to go throught the whole "does my bum look big in this?" routine.

You should try calling her bluff........saying you don't like it. If shes anything like me she'd tell you to get stuffed and that she loves it and will wear it whether you like it or not!

That only takes about 2 minutes.

She's not an Aquarian then!

My ex used to do that ..i always said ya can F off i aint getting involved

I cant bloody sleep

i have to go to school

Well i could have been honest and said no ya got the arse the size of a Bus, granted she would have still been my ex but it saved me a hospital visit

Shoulder is in agony - bloody arthiritis!

Coomerations of Trafalgar. What a load of utter crap.

The stupid moron who keeps putting rude comments on my map GRRRRRRRRR

fountain pens

Bloody "Surrey flanges"! I've been checking all my outlets after one and none of them have a clue what I am on about, they've never heard of them. So I've just done a search on the net, and guess what! The "Surrey flange" is supplied only by the makers of a plumbing unit I've just fitted...I've got to buy it from them at their prices...what a rip!

I can easily say that today has been the most boring day ever, apart from the most boring ghost encounter ever was only slightly interesting.

What do you mean kind of

Are you working for the government and cannot disclose what you are really doing, so you will now have to kill me cos i know that your up to something, but il run away invent a jetpack and go round the world, and then you'll be like terminator and not stop and it will be an ongoing thing and so on, and so on, blah blah blah...

Ahh, alot more simple than my interpretation.